10 Things You Should Ask Yourself Before Going All the Way!

Here are some questions you need to ask yourself before you say yes to sex:

1. Why Am I Considering Having Sex?

According to Dr. Mary Bruggeman, head of Dana Point Counseling Center in Dana Point, CA, teens often enter into sexual relationships for the wrong reasons. "Some teens feel that everyone else is having sex, and something must be wrong with them if they're not." Studies have also shown that during the teen years females tend to have sex for more emotional reasons; to establish an intimate bond, to get closer, to show her love, and to be loved in return. The same studies tell us that males often have sex to impress their friends, prove their manhood, or boost their egos.

The following comments from teens who wish that they had waited to have sex support these claims:

"I thought sex would bring us closer. I thought I was 'in love.' Besides, he dwelled on it so much that I thought he would let up if I said yes just once." —Lisa, 16

"I thought I loved him and that it was the right time for us to have sex. I really thought sex would make our relationship better." —Alice, 16

"I was in love — I thought he was in love with me." —Rose, 17

"I was curious more than anything else." —Ben, 18

"Sex was the 'manly' thing to do." —Allen, 15

2. Will Alcohol or Drug Use Play into My Decisions Regarding Sex?

Dr. Bruggeman claims that research has shown that alcohol and drug use frequently play a role in influencing teens who would otherwise say no to sex. Sometimes peer pressure alone is enough to sway someone into going all the way.

"It takes a very, very strong person to say no these days to all the temptations around them — drugs, booze and especially sex," Dr. Bruggeman reports. The use of alcohol or drugs can impair your judgment, causing you to be more susceptible to persuasion and more willing to take chances with your body, risking pregnancy and disease.

3. Am I Considering Saying Yes to Prove Something to Someone?

Dr. Bruggeman feels that a lot of young women (and some young men) have sex because they think sex is the best way to show a person the love they feel, and having sex will guarantee that person will love them back. Becoming involved in a sexual relationship does not guarantee a commitment or a relationship, no matter how much you hope that it might.

Does he claim that you're causing him physical pain by not having sex with him? Are you afraid to lose him if you don't have sex with him? Do you think sex will make your relationship better? Examine your reasons for considering sex, and don't let someone talk you into having sex before you're ready.

If you're hearing lines like: "If you really loved me..."; "Show me how much you love me..."; "Let me show you how much I love you..."; or "What's the matter? Are you scared?" you're being manipulated into a decision.