It’s tough to have this internal tug-of-war between heart and head, so you’ve got to sort everything out before you act. First, you should realize that being in this position doesn’t make you weak or foolish—it happens to a lot of people! Also, it’s possible to be in love with your boyfriend and admire other cool guys at the same time. Fantasizing can be fun, like when you picture yourself walking down the wedding aisle with that Orlando Bloom look-alike you’ve seen around. But if your crush is consuming all your thoughts and your boyfriend is taking a back seat (it almost feels like you’re cheating on him), it’s time to do some investigating.

For starters, since it sounds like you barely know your crush, try to find out more about him before you make any decision to leave your guy. Once you get to know this studly stranger as a friend—and just a friend—he’ll become a real person with positive and negative traits. When you can see him for who he really is, you’ll be in a better position to decide whether he’s worth going for.

Meanwhile, wandering eyes can be a warning sign that something’s not cool between you and your boyfriend. To see if there’s a problem in that relationship, ask yourself these questions: What is it I find so irresistible about my crush? Are these important and desirable qualities that my boyfriend doesn’t have? Weighing their pros and cons may seem sorta cold, but it’s the best way to see if something you want is glaringly absent from either side. Hey, let’s face it: Not all guys have the same qualities, but the babe you choose should have the ones that matter most to you.

Also ask yourself if there’s something major missing in your relationship in general. It could be something that always comes up in arguments: Maybe your boyfriend has stopped being attentive. Maybe he disappointed you when you needed him. Gather your conclusions and have a heart-to-heart about them with your boyfriend. That could be all it takes to revive your relationship. Every couple has ups and downs, boredom and excitement. Low times don’t necessarily mean you should break up; they often mean you should spend more time communicating. If your boyfriend bonding is a failure and you’re still stuck on your crush, give in to your true feelings and stop stringing your boyfriend along. Then, before jumping into anything new, make sure you’re not just looking for another arm decoration. You don’t have to be tied down to any one guy to be a great girl. Just be honest with yourself, give it some time and the right decision will fall into place